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How to ask friends and family for help
New Parent

How to ask friends and family for help

3 min read
Key takeaways
3 min
  • Be specific about what type of help you need rather than making vague requests for assistance.
  • Share your honest feelings and emotions to help loved ones understand your support needs.
  • Don't hesitate to ask for unconventional help like taking a bath while someone watches the baby.
  • Show vulnerability by expressing when you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or need adult conversation.
  • Use direct language and specific examples when requesting help with housework, meals, or childcare.

To ask for help as a new mom, be specific about your needs and use direct language. Share honest feelings with family and friends, request specific tasks like housework or babysitting, and don't hesitate to show vulnerability when feeling overwhelmed.

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It’s not always easy to ask for support when you become a mom, so we came up with some phrases that can help!

After having your baby, any type of help is appreciated. You probably have more than a few family members or close friends who would love to help. However, it’s not always easy to ask.  We came up with a few suggestions to help you start a conversation and get the support you need from the people you trust.

Unfortunately, not even those closest to you can read your mind! The key is to be specific about what type of help you need.

Example 1: "I can’t seem to manage to get the housework done. Is there any chance you can drop by to give me a hand?"

Example 2: "We haven’t had a decent meal in days! Is your offer to help still on? One of your casseroles would be a godsend right now."

Example 3: "Our dirty laundry is about to take over the house. Do you think you could help me sort and fold while we gossip and the baby takes a nap?"

Don't shy away from out-of-the-box requests - every need is important

Example 1: "I am exhausted! What I really need is a nice long bath. Would you mind sitting with the baby while I take one?"

Example 2: "Would you mind helping me take out the trash? The baby’s naps have been so short that I haven’t had time to take care of that."

Example 3: "Nights are the hardest. If you’re in the mood for a sleepover, I would really love some company and support."

Share your feelings, including the not-so-pleasant ones. Being honest with your loved ones will make them aware of the fact that you need some extra support right now.

Example 1: "I am incredibly tired. Do you have time to babysit for a little while so I can get some rest?"

Example 2: "I am in desperate need of adult conversation! Can we go get some coffee or take a walk?"

Example 3: "I start to feel frustrated when the baby won’t stop crying. I could really use some company if you have the time."

Don't be afraid to show vulnerability

Example 1: "I feel so anxious and overwhelmed at times. Don’t forget to check on me or call so I don’t completely lose it!"

Example 2: "Between feeling exhausted and learning to take care of the baby, I often feel like I am about to burst into tears. Do you mind sitting with the baby so I can have a few moments to myself?"

Example 3: "Sometimes I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I would love to have a nice talk with you to get things off my chest."

Frequently asked questions

Be specific about your needs and use direct language. For example, say 'I need help with laundry while the baby naps' instead of 'I need help.' Share your honest feelings to help them understand why support is important.

Ask for help with housework, meals, laundry, babysitting, or even just adult conversation. Don't shy away from unique requests like having someone watch the baby while you take a bath or needing company during difficult nights.

Yes, most friends and family want to help but don't know how. Being specific about your needs makes it easier for them to provide meaningful support during this challenging time.

Remember that asking for help is normal and healthy for new parents. Your loved ones likely want to support you but need clear guidance on how to help effectively.

Medical Disclaimer

This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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Medically reviewed content

Reviewed by healthcare professionals · Updated September 1, 2024

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