Science shows no evidence for a “typical” male or female brain. This means gender does not influence how well a parent can care for his or her baby. Women are not better predisposed to be nurturing and attentive, and men are not apathetic or incompetent parents just because they are men.
Strong cultural influences teach us that men and women are fundamentally different from one another. We have ideas of what it means to “act like a man”, or repeat that women are mysterious creatures that make no sense to men. Many people believe that men are innately more aggressive, assertive, and logical while women are sensitive, sociable, and irrational. These teachings are perpetuated by pop psychology and famous books such as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (by John Gray) [1].
What's wrong with believing men and women are different?
The problem comes when Gray and other popular authors assign different social roles according to gender. There is also very heavy stereotyping that occurs that robs individuals of their complexity and opportunity. The bottom line is there is no science to back up their claims.
What does science have to say?
There are some general observed differences between the sexes. Studies show men are more inclined to operate on systematized facts and structure, whereas women are more likely to use empathy and intuition [2, 3]. But this does not mean every man and every woman will conform to this generalization, especially all the time.
In 2015, scientists from Tel Aviv University, the Max Planck Institute for Cognitive and Neuroscience in Leipzig, and the University of Zurich performed MRI scans of 1,400 brain samples. It turned out that each individual brain is a mosaic of female and male features, in different proportions [4]. The predominance of exclusively male or female characteristics in humans is found only in rare cases [5].
Psychological studies have also confirmed these findings. Scientists tested how gender affects what character traits a person displays: impulsiveness or discipline, suspicion or gullibility, confidence or anxiety, a tendency to an established order or spontaneity, restraint or sociability, and so on. Despite the fact that at the level of large groups some qualities are more prevalent in men and others in women, specific people displayed the same mosaic of masculine and feminine traits [6].
What conclusions can we draw?
Gender is not at all an indicator of what kind of parent a person will be. His or her personality and values are much more important.
In a coupled relationship, this means just because your partner tends to be more rational doesn’t mean they’re incapable of being empathetic and considerate. Dads can be gentle, caring, and do an excellent job of parenting. Moms can think objectively and make rational decisions. Therefore, in your family life, break free of stereotypes. Build a system and a routine that works for you. Distribute responsibilities based on better reasons than gender. There are no barriers to listening to and understanding each other, sharing feelings, and negotiating.
