Grief can happen in any family and at any time. If you find yourself grieving the death of a loved one during pregnancy, here’s some steps toward healing.
Do not forbid grieving
It is normal for the human psyche to be in grief. On the other hand, to smile and pretend that everything is fine when it’s not is unhealthy.
Give yourself the opportunity to grieve and mourn your loss. If someone says that you've been sad for too long and it's time to get back to normal, don't listen to them. There’s no timestamp on grief.
Grief is not an instant nor a momentary phenomenon, but a process that must be lived through. There are five stages of grief:
denial;
anger;
bargaining;
depression;
acceptance [1].
Everyone will experience these five stages at different times and in different ways. There is no right or wrong way to grieve: everyone's experiences and feelings are unique. There are no universal terms for mourning, but on average the process takes from one to two years.
Don't be afraid to cry
Pregnant women sometimes do not allow themselves to cry out their pain due to the pressure they feel from society or their own desire to appear strong and remain positive for the sake of the baby.
Hiding your feelings will not help anyone. Repressed emotions are the cause of many larger problems. You don't need to stay positive if it’s unnatural for you in this situation.
Crying is a natural and harmless way to relieve stress. Together with tears, endorphins, hormones with an anti-stress effect, are released. They are able to relieve not only physical but also emotional pain [2].
Enlist the support of loved ones
Don't be afraid to tell your friends and family that you need help. Social connections will help you cope with even the most difficult life situations.
Make a list of people you can turn to for support. Write their names, contacts, addresses. This makes it easier to access the resources you have.
Have a ritual
It may be too difficult for you to attend the funeral. If so, don't blame yourself. You can say goodbye to a loved one and at home. Write down important events that connected you with this person on paper. Or make a memory corner at home: collect valuables that remind you of the deceased. If you don't want other people to see them, make a memory box to keep in a special place.
Draw what you feel
When grief pulls you in, it is not always possible to describe what you feel in words. But sometimes colors and textures can explain your emotions better. Try drawing it out, even if you are not good at drawing. It's not about the artistic value of the picture, but about the ability to express your emotions.
See a psychologist
Consult a psychologist , who can help you navigate this period of loss. It is important that the psychologist has knowledge of mourning and experience working with people who have faced loss.
