It may seem that a new baby should strengthen family relationships. Researchers, however, found that more than half of couples become less happy after the birth of a child [1].
There are objective reasons for this
For starters, having a baby means having less or no time for enjoyable hobbies and relaxation, which is stressful.
Second, you and your partner spend significantly less time alone than before. Communication is pretty much limited to requests and instructions. This often leads to alienation.
Third, fatigue and a lack of sleep contribute to chronic stress. As a result, you become more vulnerable to emotional impulses and struggle to maintain self-control [2, 3, 4]. A single careless word can spark a heated argument.
Has everyday life destroyed romance forever?
A new baby really creates challenges for the relationship. But it is in your power to smooth out the sharp corners and get closer to your partner again. Here's how to achieve this.
Express your thoughts clearly
Even a dear and beloved person cannot read your mind. To avoid mutual irritation and reproaches, explain exactly what you want. Even if you think these are obvious things. For example, if you ask your partner to purchase diapers, specify the brand and size.
Breathe deeply before speaking
For example, you discover a pile of dirty laundry in the bathroom. You find it annoying that your partner doesn't seem to notice this. Take a deep breath and exhale. Then calmly and politely ask your partner to start a load. Imagine that you are talking to a salesperson in a store or a colleague at work. This manner of communication may seem strange, but it helps to avoid many conflicts [5].
Plan on special moments
Think of the rituals that make you feel like a couple. A one-minute hug right after waking? Together for morning coffee? Write down all that comes to mind. Put the list on the refrigerator or some other visible location [5].
Let your partner take care of the child in their own way
Don't say things like, "The baby loves this way of being held." Even though you mean well, it might seem like you're picking at small things. So, it might cause a fight or anger. Leave the room, do something by yourself, and come back. This is also good for a couple's relationship.
Photo: shutterstock
