It’s an often-cited staple of parenthood that you don’t get “any” sleep for a few years. How true is this? And can anything be done?
How long do new mothers sleep?
On average, moms of newborns sleep about seven hours per night, which is within a healthy range [1]. The problem is that those seven hours are full with distractions. You frequently wake up to comfort, nurse, and monitor your little one. At first, your body handles it well, but eventually, tiredness sets in. Exhaustion is accompanied by fatigue and grumpiness. Your memory and attention weaken, as do your decision-making abilities [2]. These effects can also have a negative impact on the baby's sleep.
How to break this vicious circle?
The good news is that the baby's sleep will ultimately settle into a schedule. Around three to four months, baby should give you the gift of longer stretches of uninterrupted sleep. From there, rhythms will improve, but each child is unique. Four hours of unbroken sleep at two or three years old [3].
When can you finally start sleeping regularly again?
When your child is approximately six years old. This applies to both mother and father [4]. It’s not as bad as it sounds. The quality of your sleep will improve dramatically once you’re sleeping more than four hours at a time, which will happen sooner rather than later [2].
What can you do to overcome sleeplessness?
A good strategy is to divide overnight duties into two shifts, with you taking one and your partner taking the other. You sleep throughout your partner's shift. Do not get up and try to help or influence how your spouse manages their shift! Release the responsibilities and rest.
If you are nursing and feel comfortable doing so, your partner can even bring the baby to your bed to nurse while you sleep [2]. Baby will have no trouble latching [3].
Seek assistance from family members or hire a babysitter if your partner is unable to share childcare duties with you for any reason.
I wake up whenever baby makes the tiniest sound, though.
We have built-in biological mechanisms that have protected babies for millennia. Now that we’re generally not monitoring for large, carnivorous predators, those same mechanisms continue to make our senses sharp for danger. You can sleep with earplugs in, sleep in a different room than baby, or take other similar measures while your partner is “on shift.” Feeling guilty for doing so? Don’t. You’re much better for baby if you’re well-rested [2].
What about daytime naps?
If you’re the type of person that falls asleep easily, that’s a great idea. The more sleep, the better. Many of us have a hard time napping, however. If naps are not an option for you, aim to get four hours of uninterrupted sleep at night and as much extra sleep as possible [2].
Photo: shutterstock
