You’ve heard it before and you’ll hear it again. New moms need to balance baby-care with self-care. But taking care of a newborn takes a huge amount of energy and time! Often, new mamas may have set unrealistic expectations for themselves, and when they fall short they feel guilty or dissatisfied [1]. The important thing to remember is this: this too shall pass. Both you and a baby will learn more about being in the world together and self-care will get easier.
I don’t like the way my body looks. What do I do?
Many new moms do not have realistic expectations for their bodies after childbirth [2]. The real question is why do you think your body should go back to “normal” so quickly after undergoing a huge transformation. Your body just created a new life and birthed it into the world! That miracle will take more than a month or two of recovery. Sure celebrities still look like high-gloss women in their post-birth instagram feed, but these are highly curated photos, not accurate portrayals of reality.
Realistically, the body needs time to recover. This is normal, healthy and good. Your body knows how to grow a baby and it knows how to recover. Give yourself time.
Being angry at your body is pointless and harmful. Being grateful for the miracle your body accomplished will reduce the risk of depression, anxiety and eating disorders [3]. Emotionally stable mothers establish a stronger emotional connection with their babies, and they produce better milk [4].
I get it, but I still feel fat.
Instead of focusing on what you perceive as flaws of your body [5], think about what your body is doing well. This will help improve your relationship with your body and help you break the vicious cycle of negative self-talk [4, 5].
Many people want to return to their pre-pregnancy body. But why move backwards? Maybe it's better not to try to fit into old skinny jeans, but to buy some new clothes that will help fulfill the role of new mom [4]?
Some moms fixate on their bodies, when what they are really missing is their pre-baby lifestyle: watching TV with your husband, grabbing lattes with a friend on Saturday morning, going for hikes. Make a list of activities that you would like to do again, and look for ways you can start taking on a few more of the activities you enjoy.
What is the perfect weight?
The truth is weight is just a number. You may have a picture of yourself at your "perfect" weight, but even when you were that weight, did you feel happy? Happiness comes not when the scales show the right number, but when you love and accept yourself [4].
