Does your partner avoid going to your prenatal care appointments? Do they seem uninterested in your well-being and the development of the baby? Are they avoiding talking about the future? Here are seven things that may help.
During pregnancy, feelings may become heightened, and a partner that acts aloof and doesn’t prioritize your care can be quite distressing. The first thing to do is not to hide your feelings. Studies show that women not supported by their partners during pregnancy are more prone to postpartum depression [1]. The good news is that there’s a lot you can do.
Figure out why your partner is unsupportive
There can be many reasons for your partner to be detached. Maybe they feel unprepared for parenthood and are in a state of denial. Fears of financial stability or the challenges of raising a child may be weighing on them. Things may go deeper and be related to unresolved disputes or built-up resentments. Outside pressures, like work, can also contribute to general tiredness and a lack of emotional energy.
Initiate a conversation
Start by sharing your feelings with your partner. Explain exactly what you expect from them; they might be unaware of your needs. Ask them to share their own worries and doubts. Talking through your viewpoints can help clarify the situation and eliminate some of the issues you are facing.
Give them time to adjust
Adapting to a new life situation can sometimes be slow. Adjusting can be difficult for a partner, and they may not have the tools to express their feelings. Be patient and just be there. If you have a mutual understanding of the most important things, then there is a good chance that things will work themselves out.
Involve your partner in pregnancy-related issues
A partner's detachment and lack of involvement may come from a misunderstanding of how pregnancy works. In that case, sharing how your life is being affected can help. Talk about how your body feels, about your emotions and mood swings. Explain the day-to-day things that have become more challenging. Be specific about your needs, and if they still shy away from providing the support you need, explain how their lack of action affects your well-being.
Find other sources of support
Do not hesitate to ask for help from relatives, friends, or acquaintances. Talk to other pregnant women via online groups or in person. Share your struggles and ask for advice. It is quite possible that someone from your social circle has faced similar situations and will be able to support you.
Take care of yourself
Make it a rule to do something every day that brings you joy. It doesn't have to be big, even a simple thing like having a piece of cake in a nice coffee shop or walking in the park can do wonders for your day. Don’t deny yourself small pleasures, like playing a game, listening to music, dancing, reading a great book, or watching a romantic series on TV; anything that distracts you will do. Finding pleasure in simple things can give you the energy and strength to cope with more challenging situations.
Seek professional help
If your partner refuses to change, you may benefit from consulting a family psychologist. Often, it is the best way to protect your emotional health. A psychologist will help both of you make better decisions, set boundaries, and start communicating productively.
