Movies, TV, social media, and books can all give us false expectations of what pregnancy is. If you’re feeling like something is wrong with your pregnancy experience, we’re here to tell you it’s not! Here are the realities no one seems to talk about, and they’re all okay!
Glowing, ethereal, and lit from within
Expectation:
Moms-to-be are goddesses radiating an otherworldly light and goodness! You can’t take your eyes off them, they’re so beautiful! Graceful and benevolent, they walk the Earth with the vibe of deities creating new life.
Reality:
Acne, bloating, age spots, and new allergic reactions to beauty products you’ve used for years.
Stylish, modern, rocking a baby bump under couture
Expectation:
Expectant mothers are fashion icons, highlighting their luxurious designer duds with their special, unique accessory: the baby bump. Perfectly coiffed and styled, they’re cool, trendy, and enviable.
Reality:
You’re tired. Nothing fits comfortably. Why spend an hour on a blowout and another on contouring? Give us loungewear and a topknot. Done.
Active health nuts
Expectation:
Regular workouts, weekly classes, water aerobics, long daily walks, and a perfectly curated diet with all your macros balanced.
Reality:
Lots of couch time eating chips dipped in cookie dough. (Here’s where we have to comment that you should stay active during pregnancy to make delivery easier and recovery afterwards faster.)
Beautiful, touching ultrasound pictures to put all over social media
Expectation:
Dozens of clear shots of the baby every friend and relative wants to pore over to decide who he looks most like. (Aunt Jane, for sure.)
Reality:
Four shots where you can kind of make out a hand?
Bizarre, hilarious food cravings
Expectation:
Your doting spouse runs out to the store right before it closes to get you pineapple, onion rings, dill pickles, and that ice cream with the peanut butter and waffle cone bits.
Reality:
Endless nausea and vomiting. Can’t. Look. At. Food. What. Is. That. Smell.
A magazine-worthy nursery
Expectation:
Color-coordinated, neat, cozy, updated and trendy, your nursery will be the stuff of Pinterest and Instagram feeds. All the likes!
Reality:
Bought a cot and put it in your bedroom.
Baby name buzz
Expectation:
You pick the perfect name. Everyone hates that they didn’t come up with it first. No one gets to use your amazing name! Teachers will be excited to have your child in their class as soon as they see their roster.
Reality:
Your husband wants to name your daughter after comic book heroes, and he refuses to take any of your suggestions because they’re all names of his exes.
Delightful baby kicks
Expectation:
Light activity as your baby listens to classical music you’re playing every afternoon. Like the kiss of a butterfly wing, you feel her dancing along.
Reality:
Sure, it’s okay until week 20, but she’s starting to get a bit rowdy in there, especially at 4:00 AM every morning.
Elegant maternity portrait session
Expectation:
You’ll hire a master photographer to document your fecund womanhood. You’ll walk along the beach in a flowing gown, holding your belly with a knowing look on your face, your long, beach-waved hair flowing in the salty breeze.
Reality:
I hate the way I look, I’m tired, nothing fits, and I’m not spending an hour standing in damp sand being stared at by a million loud tourists.
A time of rest
Expectation:
Finally, here’s a time in your life when it’s all about you! You can rest as much as you want without guilt or judgment. You can nap throughout the day and no one will say a word!
Reality:
Sleep is uncomfortable and irregular, everything is numb, and you have to get up to pee every 40 minutes.
Unlimited buffet time!
Expectation:
Order a pizza, some wings, some pad thai, a strawberry smoothie, and a grocery order full of snacks. It’s a movie marathon and you’re eating for two!
Reality:
Your doctor reprimands you for gaining weight too quickly and forgetting your multivitamin.
