When there's a baby in the house, your old sense of hospitality will not work. It’s time to rethink your priorities and set expectations for friends and grandparents.
As soon as you bring baby home from the hospital, relatives, friends and acquaintances will want to come visit. They want to be happy for you and meet the newest member of your family! But for the parents and for baby, too many guests can become a source of tension.
The first few weeks after birth, you will be on edge — fatigue, lack of sleep, and healing from labor. Let’s be clear: after giving birth, you don't owe anyone anything. It's okay if your home is a mess, you are not showered, and you have nothing to offer your guests. Your only task in these first days after baby arrives is to take care of baby and yourself. If guests must visit, they should realize they are there to support you [1].
Do not waste your energy on cleaning before receiving guests
This is completely unnecessary, even if cleanliness is your obsession. No one will judge you or consider you a bad hostess if your apartment looks sloppy. You have more important things to worry about [1].
Accept help
In the first weeks after giving birth, you may not even have time to cook for yourself, not to mention for guests. Of course, you can order pizza or have other ready-made food. But if guests offer to help, ask them to bring a meal. If you need diapers or rash cream, ask your friends to go to the store and buy these things for you. It will be easier for them to do this than for you [1].
When guests are visiting don’t be afraid to think of them as an extra set of hands. It's okay if you ask someone to take out the trash or load the dishwasher. And if grandma and baby are getting on swimmingly, ask her to hold the baby so you can go take a shower. This is not selfishness — it's simply reasonable [1].
Tell your guests when it's time to go
Even if you are usually fond of extended gatherings, after giving birth, you may tire of guests after 15 minutes. Even a simple conversation can be exhausting. This is normal: your body is still recovering from childbirth, which is no small task. If you don't have the strength for visiting, be straight about it and let them know you need to rest. You can also warn guests ahead of time that you need rest, so they will not expect a long visit [1].
Make a list of rules
It is up to you and your partner to decide who can come and how visits take place. It’s a great idea to make a list of rules for visits in advance, so you don’t have to think about it later and you can let your guests know beforehand. Think about how many people you want to visit and for how long, who can hold the baby in their arms, whether it is possible to take photos and post photos on social networks, and whether you will breastfeed in front of everyone [1].
What if I don't want to see anyone at all?
You have every right not to invite anyone over. Postpone all visits until you are ready. After some time, you will get to know your baby and the days will become a little easier. Then you can think about having guests. If your friends are persistent, don't be afraid to disappoint them. Immediately after giving birth, you need to take care of yourself. It doesn't matter what others think [1].
