When a second child is born, it changes how the family works. Emotions can run high. The older child might feel jealous, and parents might feel guilty [1]. Despite your best efforts, anger can bubble up.
This “transition into siblinghood” affects everyone. Moms may feel stressed for a year, while dads and older kids feel it for about four months [2]. Stress can make you irritable, and older kids might act out [3]. Recognizing anger and frustration early helps manage them. Here's what you can do.
Take deep, slow breaths. It sounds simple, but changing your breathing switches the nervous system into relaxation mode. If you don't enjoy breathing exercises you can do a mental countdown to try to shift your focus to a nearby object or scene. The effect will be the same.
If your children are safe, go to another room and look out the window.
Notice how your heart rate slows down and your muscles release tension.
Once you feel calmer, talk to your older child about their behavior and what may be behind it. These actions can help you maintain a warm and trusting relationship with them while teaching them about coping with feelings [4].
